What I Miss (and Don’t Miss) about Attending General Assembly

coffin

I have now been “Honorably Retired” for two years (Every time I write that I think, “I love my denomination’s lingo”), so that means this is the third Presbyterian Church in America General Assembly in a row that I have not attended. There are things that I do NOT miss about this yearly adventure that was so much a part of my life during my time as a PCA Teaching Elder

I do NOT miss attending GA because of the need to travel across the country and live in a hotel for three days. My legs are too long to be comfortable on the flight, and one never knows who will be seated in the seat next to him for several hours. I still remember the college girl next to me who was on her way to work at a summer camp in New England who must have wanted to be a European because she decided to wear no deodorant on that particular day. At first I thought that I must have been the culprit of the odor hanging around aisle 23 until she stretched and I realized that I was the victim. Along with the travel, I must admit my curmudgeon-li-ness (yes, I know that is not a word) results in my not sleeping well in a hotel (although I often found myself dozing through the informational reports on Wednesday afternoon), so I knew that I would return home exhausted.

I do NOT miss attending GA because one never knows what you are going to get at the worship services. There seems to be some innate desire every year for the worship service to be more “creative” than the year before. I am still shaking my head at the year someone actually thought intinction was a good idea. [sigh]

I do NOT miss attending GA because being on the losing side of seemingly every vote gets old after a while. (Yes, I was on the winning side of the Federal Vision Study Committee vote several years ago but the PCA has found ways to ignore that result from the moment it happened.) I must admit one would think that I would be used to losing since the first fifteen years of my life as a pastor was spent going to Baptist General Convention of Texas Conventions where being a Biblical conservative meant: you’re a loser (except for the motion to adjourn, of course).

But, I DO miss attending GA because of the fellowship that I had with like-minded pastors from across the nation. It was the only time during the year that I saw most of them (unless I ran into them at a Banner of Truth Conference or the Reformation Worship Conference). It was always good to hear what was going right (and what was going wrong) as they sought to minister to God’s people in a fallen world in the particular place that God’s providence had placed them. I learned much from them and often it helped me to appreciate anew the people that I ministered to back home.

So, this year I will be checking Twitter to discover what is going on in Greensboro, but mainly I will be praying for God to be at work in the life of our denomination during this special week of the year.

Oh, and I almost forgot, I DO miss hearing David Coffin, the walking, talking, breathing Robert’s Rules of Order guy, correcting some parliamentary misdeed that has taken place on the floor (or, even more so, on the podium).
;^)

 

 

The “Hot-Tempered Man”

angry

I have been reading Sonia Purnell’s biography of Clementine Churchill entitled, “Clementine: The Life of Mrs. Winston Churchill.” It has been a fascinating look at the marriage of one of the most important leaders of the 20th century. She was one of the few people who could stand up to the overpowering personality, opinions, and bluster of Great Britain’s foremost statesman. One sentence in particular caught my eye: “Often it was only Clementine who would point to Winston’s faults; his lack of real empathy with others and tendency to bully meant that he often mistook silent acquiescence for positive support.”  One can get away with bullying in the political realm, and sometimes it can even prove beneficial at some level in the business realm, but one place that it doesn’t belong is in Christ’s Church.

My daily Bible reading today included the fifteenth chapter of the Book of Proverbs which contains the following truth, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention.” In my thirty plus years of ministry I have seen the “hot-tempered man” leave countless broken people in his wake as he careens through the life of the church. Sometimes he is a pastor; sometimes he is an elder; sometimes he is a deacon; sometimes he is “Joe Church Member;” and sometimes he is not a man at all (the hot-tempered woman creates havoc, also); but whoever he (or she) is, destruction follows him the way the flying dust follows Pigpen in the Charlie Brown comic strip. And, often like Winston Churchill he mistakes “silent acquiescence for positive support.” Many church bullies aren’t even aware of the emotional bruises that they leave on those in which they come in contact.

So my plea, first of all, to church officers: Don’t ever let anger be the driving force in your life. I once knew a pastor who said that he was able to get more work done when he was angry, but I also knew that many of those around him were constantly walking on eggshells, being careful to not trigger one of his infamous outbursts. Secondly, I would ask church members to be prayerfully careful about whom they vote for when church officer elections are held. An angry church member can cause great harm, but an angry church leader can devastate the life of a local church.

And, last of all, as we live out our lives in this fallen world; always remember the guidance that the Apostle Paul gave to the church at Rome:

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. ‘But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21)

 

 

 

 

 

Dealing with Challenging People

explosive child

In Ross Greene’s book, “The Explosive Child,” he writes about using three baskets when communicating with kids who have special needs to lessen the possibility of an explosive situation occurring:

 Basket A:  The essential safety behaviors. Non-negotiables.

 Basket B:  The high-priority behaviors which are very important, but not worth a power struggle that will result in an explosive melt-down. Use as opportunity to teach compromise and negotiating skills.

 Basket C:  The behaviors which once seemed important, but are not really a top priority and certainly not worth a melt-down. Things that in the big picture don’t really matter.

Of course, it can be challenging to determine which basket applies to a given situation, but I have found that this approach has been very helpful to me in the world in which I live. I have found that it can be useful in dealing with “The Explosive Adult,” also.