“Uncertainty”

Uncertainty can have many meanings. It can be used as a synonym for doubt, hesitancy, or indecision. Presently in our lives it has none of those meanings. For us uncertainty simply means “irresolution.” We spent most of the day yesterday at the emergency room at Texas Children’s Hospital with our seventeen year old who has been complaining of headaches, fatigue, and general body aches for several months. It seems as if we have seen every doctor within the continental United States and still have no answers.

Fortunately, they seemed to have ruled out many of the “scary things” such as lymphoma, leukemia, etc., but still haven’t given us a reason for why he feels the way he does. When one mixes in his autism spectrum disorder (ASD—and yes, we were a little concerned when the ER doctor asked us what ASD stood for, although to be fair he spent a great amount of time with us) which makes it difficult for him to describe to us exactly what he is experiencing, we end up with “uncertainty.”

It is definitely not “doubt” for we know that God wisely and powerfully preserves and governs all of his creatures, and all of their actions in a holy manner (Westminster Shorter Catechism, Q#11), so we know that God is firmly in control of, and is working out His will for our good and His glory. And, it is not “hesitancy” or “indecision” because it seems as if we have talked to doctor after doctor, and had doctors run test after test. We have done our best to leave no stone unturned. Yet, we have “uncertainty.” We have “irresolution.”

Nevertheless, although we are uncertain of what Reed’s problem is, and we are uncertain about what his and our future holds, we are not uncertain about God’s presence, His knowledge of our situation, or His firm control on our lives. God is mightily at work in time and space on our behalf, and He is mightily at work in time and space for His eternal purposes. We have been “predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.” (Ephesians 1:11-12)

So, while I don’t deny our emotions of weariness, concern and grief, I pray that we will be able to continue to focus on God’s big picture: “the praise of His glory” in Christ, and our being “conformed to the image of His Son.” (Romans 8:29)

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